sonofpyrrah | Entries tagged with otherkin

I haven't touched this in a while. It's a little crazy that I just let this fall to the wayside, but I suppose there's no time like the present to bring things er...up to present.

So let's start with a slice of life update. A...lot has happened. I had to get away from my husband due to it becoming a DV situation. I lived in a DV shelter for a few months. I'm now on my own with my cats and a fish. I got a job at PetSmart and am around animals a lot, so at least I have a little bit of that going. I learned that I actually love taking care of fish!

However I need to find a second job as it's not enough to cover my life expenses.

Now...I feel I should address the elephant in the room. I changed some things up on my account (tho i can't change my username so ugh) and am now identifying as a League of Legends character. Yeah it's sus to go to literally the newest champion released, but a lot of things made too much sense for me to ignore it.
Red dragon hatchling separated from mother? Check
Found human friend and made a tight bond? Check
The shifts also match. The ears especially! It also matches how I definitely feel dragon, but act very human!! Occam's Razor.

There's a bunch of other things that I think helped me make the fit, but I can't quite articulate it today. Perhaps on another day I will draft out something.

Current Mood: sick

I mentioned in my Awakening post that I have experiences every day that I feel are linked to my being a dragon, from feelings to habits to bonds.

The way I show affection to my husband. Most of my dragon life was spent with a sunfire elf, so I learned to show my love and affection gently. I rub on my husband like a cat, and occasionally there's lovebites (but I don't do this a lot).

The way I walk. I found while I was working retail, I would get the irresistible urge to walk on my toes, just as I did as a dragon. When I did so I would also often feel my tail swaying behind me, providing a balance.

My shivers. I had quills from my head to the tip of my tail, trailing down my spine. Often when I get a shiver it's because I feel a tingling in my spine reminiscent of when my quills would stand on end.

My wings. Every time I look up at a clear, blue sky, I can feel them spread out and prepare for takeoff.

Running water. Actually I don't know how much of this is a draconic connection and how much is just a fascination with rivers, brooks, and creeks. I also like oceans but not quite as much.

Summer. Gods I love summer. I will miss it when it's gone. I was connected deeply to the Sun, a Primal Source of Magic. Dragons in my world weren't just creatures with arcanums, they were basically manifestations of those Primal Sources. I feel my most draconic in the heat of the sun.

The food I like to eat. I love jerky, I love ribs, I love wings, I love slices of pepperoni and prosciutto! Sure as a human I do my best to eat at least a little healthier, with a varied diet, but I always find myself wanting to devour meat with no utensils.

The phantom shifts. I mentioned previously my tail, wings, and quills, but other thins have propped up in the past. Sometimes I can feel my claws jutting out of my fingers. Sometimes, when my eyes are closed, I can feel my snout and terrible maw. Once I felt my whiskers (thinking about it makes my face tickle!) My teeth sometimes feel bigger and sharper than they truly are. My head sometimes feels heavier than this body is used to.

I make several noises. Some are high-pitched, probably closer to the sounds I made as a hatchling (or perhaps I was very good at manipulating my voice), and some sound a little lower. Beeps, chirps, trilling, rumbling, and many strange calls are in my repertoire.

For now that's all I can think of. If I remember something maybe I'll make a post entirely about that.

Current Mood: tired

While I could start at my earliest memories as a dragon, the truth is my memories (if they ARE memories) are muddled and fuzzy. So perhaps I should start from a different beginning; when I realized I'm a dragon

This also partners very closely with my introduction to Wicca and Paganism so these will be discussed as well. It's a long story, but Dreamwidth is all about long stories right?

--

This started in 2012-2013. I started going to Arkansas State University and was getting a taste of the world outside the small confines of my mother's worldview. I started becoming my own person, but this meant I was basically starting fresh. I was in a sense born again, going through my childhood all over again as I started to discover the things around me as well as myself. I've been a furry at this point for a little while so I was rather familiar with several furry spaces, but I was also running into therians and otherkin in the mix.

I started questioning if I was probably a wolf therian, because at the time my fursona was a wolf and I had also been a little bit of a wolfaboo. To this day I often question it again, especially during the winter months, but the feeling never sticks around.

So I spent several months talking to a dragonkin and being introduced to Wicca by a fellow furry. I won't call out names so I'll be calling them Femboy and Cop respectively. I had occasional conversations with these two separately over time, but they ended up shaping some rather toxic ideas into my head.

Femboy was an alien crystal dragon. He was convinced that he spent his dragon life battling christianity on earth, leaving spellbooks behind somewhere on the planet and that one day they could be uncovered. He also believed he could kill people in his sleep and smell folks from several hundred miles away but that's neither here nor there.

Cop was a Wiccan, like...full blown "three fold law" Wiccan. He also believed that with enough concentration and belief in magic you could grow cat ears and a tail.

So you can perhaps see where this is going.

It was around 2014ish when I started to believe that maybe if I just believed hard enough and followed the Wiccan laws and whatever, I could use a spell to turn myself into a dragon. This is so sadly common and I can't understate how devastating this mindset is. These two people specifically seemed to try to convince me this was very possible if I just kept trying.

And then hell broke loose.

I became a right mess. I was 20 and living in the basement of my then boyfriend's mother's house. I became incredibly stressed as some family drama started going down and I wanted to escape right now. I wanted to become a dragon NOW and get out of this mess! I wanted to fly away and never deal with it again. But I had the realization...that was never going to happen. I believed in the magic, I trusted people, and I was crushed by yet again realizing that I was being fed religious lies. I threw my Magic the Gathering cards, I hid my dragon plushies and figures in the closet, I tore down my posters, and I just had an absolute breakdown.

I tried to start convincing myself that I'm not a dragon. I never will be one.

But funny story...while I didn't physically become one, I started to see that every time I said "i am not a dragon", it felt wrong. Absolutely wrong. Like I was lying to myself.

I soon came to the conclusion that I have a dragon spirit. My soul is dragon-shaped. Whether or not this is a past life thing, it is a thing I feel every day. Every night I feel my tail curl up under my feet. Every day I feel the quills on my back stand on end and give me shivers. I am, at my core, a dragon.

Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: Danheim

I suppose my first entry should be an introduction! I have a brief "about me" on this page but perhaps more detail would suffice for a first post.

I go by several names despite being a singlet.

Photo of me!

In IRL spaces I go by Mich. I'm an artist living in New Jersey with my husband Aaron and my two cats Noodle and 2D.
I'm nonbinary and use they/he pronouns. I'm asexual, though probably in the grey sense, and panromantic (but I tend to swing more toward guys). I'm currently 28 years old as of writing this.
I attended Arkansas State University in 2012-2013 looking to a degree in Criminology, but ended up dropping out. I took some summer classes for art and marketing at Raritan Valley Community College this year and plan on working toward an art degree in fall 2023.
I am also a Heathen (norse pagan) who seriously needs to do actual work with their gods lol.

Fursona photo!

Online I go by Roarar, which is the name of my fursona. They're a red dragon with heart-shaped scales, purple horns, and pink hair. Their identity is the same as mine. I plan on making a webcomic about them called The Draco Society! I've also considered the potential that they're a psychological kintype.

that's me!

But on this account I wish to focus on myself as an otherkin. I was once a dragon named Ignis. More specifically I am a draconic fictionkin. My source is in The Dragon Prince. I was the son of the side-character Pyrrah, hence my username. I'm still discovering myself in this sense, unsure of where exactly I lived. I think I lived in Del-Bar with a sunfire elf who I dubbed Lily but I don't know if that was her name or not.

Many of the entries I hope to make here will be based on my journey discovering myself as a dragon, whether this is a past life, a parallel life, a future life, or a personal mythology I made for myself. There's still a multitude of uncertainties.

I do hope to keep active enough here to make having this account worthwhile!

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: New Jersey

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29

Ignacarious

Entries tagged with otherkin

Update of Sorts

The Draconic Things I Do & Feel

My Awakening

An Introduction is in Order

Profile

February 2024

Syndicate

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags